The *gasp* TWO year anniversary of Fate & Forgotten Secrets is literally around the corner, as in tomorrow, and I still haven't posted the epilogue. I'm not writing this post to apologize, it is what it is. I'm not going to feed you the line of "RL got in the way", because I personally hate that fucking excuse with the fire of a thousand suns.
Although the epi is about half finished, I am disconnected from my characters. It happens. It's one of the reasons I envy real writers. This happens to them also, but I know (from reading the oh-so-popular writer's blogs) that many of them who make careers out of this hobby find ways to shut down and back in bed, so to speak, with the people in their head.
And lucky are those with their support network in tact. Bringing me to nostalgia while still circling envy like a vulture. I remember two years ago when I started F&FS and the months to follow, then 6 months after that, then about a year into it. I made some great friends, some writers and some readers, some who were readers but didn't even read my story. They became this net of people that buoyed me through my writing. They would offer advice, tips, share funny stories, gChat with me late at night when I couldn't sleep, do last minute-crash edits for me, we'd bounce ideas around, shoot the shit about nothing.
Now about 95% of those people are gone. Some people I know why, we've had a falling out that I know about and a relationship had to end. Others, beats me? They just stop talking. You can only reach out to a person so many times and get no response before you say, "fuck it." Or worse, get a flat response. If we were friends and you were an author, we probably stopped being friends when I didn't have time to read your story and leave you glowing reviews anymore. Don't promise to keep in touch if you can't fulfill that promise. Sure, you can't see the future. So just don't promise it. It's simple logic. Let me say, I'm not perfect. I know I've let people fall by the wayside and it's likely a result of me trying to be friends with too many people and not being able to take that kind of social pressure, so I go into my solitary hole of random. This place, this fandom is not what it was. In fact, I dare say, I will say, it's just a wad of fucked up. I don't even think I belong in it anymore. I miss the days of 2009 and early 2010.
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